How I got over My most Devastating Tension

During my adolescence, I got attracted to a girl in my neighborhood which is considered a taboo in Indian society. Since meeting was not feasible, the relationship started with written messages thrown to each other and got sticky at that, but continued to be in serious stage for about 6 years until she got married to a gentleman. For me, there was no alternative except to forget her for ever, but this could not be done as I was very deeply involved. She got a nice husband and forgot easily our mutual love.

For many years, I got busy in my Engineering studies and then the profession to the extent that she stopped coming to my mental focus except when I was in the city of my first love. I used to feel so bad while visiting this city that I started avoiding even important visits.

Incidentally, after a gap of about 20 years, I got a consultancy assignment in the same city and I was constrained to visit the place almost daily for about a year. My love and my profession thus started tearing me apart mentally. One day, I decided to force my friendship on her husband SPB, a clerk in a local office. It was a herculean task and the outcome was highly risky.

I just walked in to his office and got seated on a chair just in front of him across his office table. He was busy with some file and did not notice my sitting for many seconds of time. Catching his first gaze, I smiled and introduced myself as a Consulting Engineer. On his query about my purpose of the visit, I told him that I was interested in buying a four-wheeler being disposed off by his office.

Intentionally, I was keeping my smiling gaze on his face and wanted him to speak more than listening me. Some sort of mutual trust developed in between us, and he asked me to see him at his residence that evening. This was the only thing I had been wanting. I followed suit and could see waves of anxiety on her face during my visit. Intentionally did not talk to her.

Soon came the festival of Deepawali, when I presented myself in the house with a gift pack of precious dry fruits to the family. The husband was not at home and she welcomed me to come in and wait for her husband who was expected any moment. In a hurry, she told me that she had told her husband that she knew me as a neighbor about 20 years ago.

The husband came and the first thing I told him was that I knew his wife for a long time. He was amused at this and told me that he came to know it from his wife. I felt much pleased and glad on finding a happy trusting union of the couple. All my past tensions were over for ever. Since then we are good friends although meet occasionally only.